i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
