i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
