she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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