YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
