Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize