k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
