around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
