i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
