The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
