Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
