i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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