Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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