so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
