We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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