did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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