my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize