I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
