Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
