You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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