I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
