Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win

Fav 2 3290 752
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(514): View more from Quebec

i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

Fav 18 3840 933
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(518): View more from New York

He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.

Fav 15 805 3453
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(850): View more from Florida

u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

Fav 24 5721 1198
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(217): View more from Illinois

if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test

(1-217): View more from Illinois

wow, a mother in the making

Fav 45 2016 6037
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(317): View more from Indiana

i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard

Fav 10 1338 3498
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(940): View more from Texas

Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.

Fav 13 4414 1080
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(404): View more from Georgia

I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked

Fav 0 281 154
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(402): View more from Nebraska

tell me about the eggs

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