she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
did you just send me my own nude
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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