I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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