Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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