are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
