Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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