It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
