his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
