I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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