Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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