just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
