No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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