Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just threw up on my dentist
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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