I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
In America we eat man semen.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
