Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
