HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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