Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
