I don't usually arrange sex via text message
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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