i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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