But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
