return my video game
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
