I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
