I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize