her vagine was all disorganized.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
