They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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