I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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