Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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