I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
