Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
