Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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