the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
