yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
