i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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