You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
