So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
