So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
