This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
