I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
