The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
