he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
