So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
