her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
